naughty Quotes and Sayings

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less. –by Brendan Francis

Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.

Sex is like nose picking. It’s fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it’s disgusting watching someone else doing it. - by Roald Dahl

There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. - by Woody Allen

A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. - by Ronald Knox

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. - by Yul Brynner

It’s the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time. - by Tallulah Bankhead

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know. - by Garry Shandling

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. - by Chauncey Mitchell Depew

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. - by Alexandre Dumas

The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently. - by Margaret Smith

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.

Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. - by Bob Rubin

We all worry about the population explosion, but we don’t worry about it at the right time. - by Arthur Hoppe

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. - by Emo Philips

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. - by William Shakespeare

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath’. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. - by Joan Rivers

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. - by Emo Philips

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it. - by Cary Grant

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. - by Gloria Leonard

Graze on my lips, and if those hills are dry, Stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie. - by William Shakespeare

A girl’s legs are her best friends…but even the best of friends must part. - by Redd Foxx

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. - by Albert Einstein

I was told that when you hit forty men stop looking at you. It’s true, until you slip on a mini-skirt.- by Mariella Frostru

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range. - by Scott E. Roeben

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it’s the triumphant twang of a bedspring. - by S. J. Perelman

An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card. - by Alex comfort

Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies. - by Adrienne Gusoff

I’m definitely claustrophobic. I have a morbid fear of tight spaces. Thankfully, with my girlfriend, I’ll never have a problem with that. - by Scott E. Roeben

I am skilled at the art of love. I just wish I had a bigger paintbrush. - by Scott E. Roeben

I guess you could call me a polygamist. Sometimes I switch hands. - by Scott E. Roeben

A man must be potent and orgasmic to ensure the future of the race. A woman only needs to be available. - by Masters and Johnson

An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card. - by Alex comfort

A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. - by Francoise Sagan