humour Quotes and Sayings

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. –by Goethe

People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up. – by Gallagher

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. - by General George Patton

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued. - by Irvin S. Cobb

Banta: Mein New Zealand vich mundayan naal BUNGEE jumping khoob enjoy keeti. Tu kehri sports khedthi c ?
Preeto: Mein vi pind vich mundayan naal MANJEE jumping khoob enjoy kitti c.

A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him. - by Nicolas Boileau

Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them. - by David Brent

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - by Eden Phillpots

There are moments when everything goes well; don’t be frightened, it won’t last. - by Jules Renard

Sure, there’s no ‘i’ in team, but there is an ‘m’ and an ‘e’. - by Kevin Meyers

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - by Phyllis Diller

You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough. - by Joseph E. Levine

I’m currently fasting to protest hunger strikes. by Scott E. Roeben

People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up. - by Gallagher

I took a philosophy test that asked us to explain Nothingness. I left it blank. - by Scott E. Roeben

I heard that the idea for the patent was stolen. - by Scott E. Roeben

A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash. - by Puzant Kevork Thomajan

I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want –an adorable pancreas? by Jean

Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life. - by Brooke Shields

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - by Rich Cook